There Is More Available to You, But You Have to Stop Apologizing for Wanting It
I have been thinking about the word more.
It can make women uncomfortable.
More money.
More freedom.
More love.
More help.
More impact.
More time.
More joy.
More rest.
More intimacy.
More opportunity.
More life.
Sometimes we can say we want those things quietly.
But the minute we say them out loud, something happens.
We start explaining.
“I mean, I am grateful for what I have.”
“I am not trying to be greedy.”
“I know I already have a lot.”
“I do not want anybody to think I am ungrateful.”
And before we have even finished saying what we want, we have already begun defending ourselves for wanting it.
I think we need to talk about that.
Because gratitude and desire are not enemies.
You can be grateful for what is and still recognize that there is more available to you.
You can love your life and still want expansion.
You can appreciate your marriage and want deeper intimacy.
You can be thankful for your career and still know there is another level of leadership in you.
You can honor the business you built and still know the current version is too dependent on you.
You can appreciate your home and still desire something different.
You can love the people in your life and still want relationships that meet you differently.
You can thank God for where you are and still believe He is not finished.
Those things can exist together.
I think some women have confused contentment with containment.
And those are not the same thing.
Contentment says:
I can appreciate what I have without making my peace dependent on getting something else.
Containment says:
I should not want anything beyond what I already have.
One is grounded.
The other can become a cage.
Because if we are not careful, we start calling smallness humility.
We start calling fear wisdom.
We start calling stagnation gratitude.
And meanwhile, something inside us keeps whispering:
There is more.
More of you.
More capacity.
More possibility.
More creativity.
More leadership.
More life.
Not because what you have is not enough.
Because you are not finished.
That distinction matters.
I am not interested in “more” for the sake of endless accumulation.
More just to prove something.
More because somebody else has more.
More because we cannot sit still.
That is not what I mean.
I am talking about the kind of more that feels like alignment.
The kind that keeps returning.
The idea that will not leave you alone.
The desire you keep putting off.
The possibility you keep circling.
The thing you keep saying you will do when the timing is better.
The life you keep imagining when nobody is asking you to be practical.
That kind of more.
The kind that makes you wonder:
What if there really is another version of my life available to me?
Not a fantasy.
Not perfection.
Possibility.
And possibility can be frightening.
Because once you admit there may be more, you have to decide what you are willing to do with that awareness.
You cannot unsee it.
You cannot keep pretending you are fully satisfied with something you already know you have outgrown.
You cannot keep calling yourself confused when you have been clear for a while and are simply afraid of what clarity may require.
That is where this conversation gets real.
Because more has requirements.
If you want more freedom, something may have to be restructured.
If you want more money, you may have to change the way you think, price, lead, build, invest, or negotiate.
If you want more intimacy, you may have to risk being known.
If you want more peace, you may have to disappoint people who benefited from your constant availability.
If you want more impact, you may have to release control.
If you want more time, something may have to stop receiving so much of you.
If you want more life, you may have to stop postponing yourself.
That is why “more” is not only inspirational.
It is architectural.
It asks something of the life you currently have.
And that may be why some women keep their desires small
Small desires do not disrupt much.
Small desires do not require much courage.
Small desires do not threaten familiar systems.
But a real desire?
That may require change.
And change can be expensive.
Not always financially.
Emotionally.
Relationally.
Structurally.
Identity-wise.
Sometimes more requires you to stop being who everybody has gotten comfortable with you being.
The fixer.
The one who never needs anything.
The one who always says yes.
The woman who carries the entire thing because “it is easier if I just do it.”
The woman who keeps her desires reasonable so nobody feels threatened by them.
There comes a point when you have to ask:
Whose comfort is my smallness protecting?
Whew.
That question is worth sitting with.
Because sometimes the thing standing between a woman and more is not lack of ability.
It is permission.
She has never given herself permission to want it.
To say it.
To pursue it.
To believe she can have it.
To believe God might actually be inviting her into it.
And I want to challenge that this month.
What if wanting more is not evidence that something is wrong with you?
What if it is evidence that something in you is waking up?
What if there is a difference between being dissatisfied with everything and recognizing that your life still has unopened rooms?
What if more is not about running away from what you have?
What if it is about becoming capable of receiving what you have not yet experienced?
That is a different conversation.
So before we start talking about plans, goals, strategies, or how to get there, I want you to do one thing this week.
Tell yourself the truth.
Where do you want more?
Not because what you have is bad.
Not because you are ungrateful.
Because something in you knows there is another dimension available.
More peace?
More money?
More love?
More support?
More freedom?
More impact?
More adventure?
More room?
More expression?
More time?
More of God?
More of yourself?
What is it?
Say it.
Write it.
Let yourself hear it.
Do not apologize for it.
Do not immediately shrink it to something more practical.
Do not explain it away.
Because before you can build toward more, you have to stop pretending you do not want it.
There is more available to you.
The question is whether you are willing to become the woman who can receive it, build it, steward it, and live it.
Dr. Anita McDaniel
The Restorationist
Restore the Woman. Rebuild Her System. Release Her Future.